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Teenage Girl Questions Sexual Morality 293 q41.1

Chastity

Chastity

If you had great spiritual balance, equanimity, you could find happiness even in arraged marriage, Gandhi found happiness with Kasturbai (a marriage arranged at age 6).

If you have very great balance, you can find happiness in bramacharya (celibacy). If you have little balance, you will find no happiness even with many partners and experimentation.

But you will be compelled to do what is in your nature, even Gita says this, to work out your samskaras, and let your karma ripen.

What you ultimately will or will not do is not really necessarily in your immediate control in this particular lifetime. Your actions are based on samskaras (impressions,tendencies) of past experiences,...which must unfold and be worked out, like knots, as your karma ripens. You will find your own path, and forge your own morality during this process. And your moral and ethical code may well change and evolve as you change and evolve in this present life. As J. Krisnamurthi said, "Truth is a pathless land", you must be a pioneer and blaze your own path. But you shall not be able to know with any certaintity what constitutes absolute Dharma, Righteousness, Justice or Goodness. Consider it a blessing that you are even concerned to ask such questions; many do not even question, but simply act.

Your desire does not denote abnormal vs normal... it does not denote "imbalanced" or "balanced". The scale of degrees of spiritual perfection are infinitely varying. There are even murderers who have some greater degree of mercy or compassion, when compared to more heartless, sadistic murderers. And there are saints with personality weaknesses and moral imperfections who are at a lower spiritual level that other, more advanced saints. Whether or not you engage in more or less sexual activity.... or even if you are celibate....the point is, you will find no happiness or peace. Happiness through sense pleasure is an illusion. You will always feel an emptiness and a dissatisfaction. Only when you turn your attention to the ultimate cause of that emptiness and dissatisfaction will you begin your journey on the road to peace.

This perennial emptiness and dissatisfaction in the aftermath of all enjoyments and indulgence is the real point which lies at the heart of your dilemma, and not moral issues of what is right or wrong in your actions.

As you grow older, you will come to understand the emptiness which I describe, and you will remember this day, and our conversation and my words. Being so young, it is natural that you are curious about your body, and what sex is like. You may also possibly feel intoxicated by the power which a young attractive woman has over those many men who desire to be with her.

You must search for the answer to that in your heart. Nothing that I can possibly tell you will help you in that search. You must find the answer for yourself for it to be meaninful to you.

When you are spiritually ripe to hear the words, then and only then will you be able to hear them and understand the meaning. And that may not happen for many lifetimes. If you read through my website, you will find useful ideas.

You shall be born again and again until you reach ultimate spiritual perfection. The very fact that you ask such questions means that you are already on a good path.

Clarity only comes with time and experience.

Books are filled with definitions of love. A definition from a book will have no meaning for you. You must ultimately BECOME in some fashion an embodiment of love. As Gandhi said once "my LIFE is my message". Your own life must reflect any definition of love that will be meaningful to you. And if you "love" yourself, then you will not let yourself be used and exploited in a dishonerable fashion. And if you cannot love yourself, then how will you be able to love another?

The physical world is a process of BECOMING; it is not BEING. As long as there IS a physical world, as long as we are born repeatedly into physical bodies, then nothing can be COMPLETE but rather everything is BECOMING.

The NOW moment is always filled with NEEDS. This is the source of our suffering.

Male sexuality is like a wild beast, let us say a tiger. We have all seen wildlife films depicting tigers or lions in the wild. They are very dangerous beasts. We have also visited zoos and circuses, and seen tigers in cages behind bars, and even trained tigers who perform tricks at their trainer's request and bidding. If you meet a very moral religious male, his sexuality is like that tiger in the zoo or in the circus. That moral male has placed his tiger of sexuality behind the bars of moral and ethical restraints. That does not mean that the wild beast no longer exists. That does not mean that this predatory killer never roars, never paces back and forth restlessly, eyeing potential victims with fiery glances. That tiger has been trained and restrained by discipline, moral and ethical values. That tiger seems very non-threatening. But when we visit the zoo, we would be very foolish to reach our hands into the cage to pet the tiger inside. The danger and threat is still present, but in a different, subdued form. Even the most skillful animal trainer in a circus, who commands the tigers and lions to do many amazing tricks, jumping through flaming hoops, that animal trainer will never be so foolish as to turn his back on those animals and assume that he is totally safe.

You will find a true measure of love when you are older, and have a child of your own, as a mother to your child. But your child will never return that love to you in the measure that you desire. A mother's love for her child is one of the greatest loves which humans can experience. And it is a pure and selfless love.

"A saint can see saintliness even in the worst sinner, but a sinner sees sinfulness even in the holiest saint."

Try to see the goodness in everyone, never judge, be slow to anger, quick to forgive, and always put yourself in anothers place, to understand how you might be the same way, if you were in their shoes with their experiences. Aristotle once said: A friend is another "I"


It was never between you and them anyway

Written By Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.


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